Speed dating was invented in the late nineties, and was originally created by a gentleman called Rabbi Yaacov Deyo as a way to help single Jewish people to meet and eventually marry.
Promoted as a stress free relaxing way to meet new people and find love, this format of dating has now taken off all over the world, and has become increasingly popular among the dating community as a successful way of meeting new people and finding a relationship.
Like many others, if you’ve tried to meet new people on a night out with friends, or have spent many months browsing online dating websites without any luck; then speed dating could just be what you need to get you back on the path to finding love.
So what is speed dating?
Speed dating comes in a variety of different forms; however the most common form of speed dating involves a fairly large group of people all getting together in the same room, and sitting down in pairs to have a kind of ‘mini-date’ with each other.
Each pair will only have anywhere between 3-6 minutes to chat before a bell or sound is rung to inform everyone to change places. Eventually everyone will at some point get to meet each other for this short date, and at the end they can then tell the organisers who they liked the most and would like to see again. If there happens to be a match between two people, and they would both like to see each other again, then they will be told a couple of days later.
What are the advantages to speed dating?
There are many advantages to speed dating which make it a popular choice. First of all, a lot people find it difficult to pluck up the courage to talk to someone on a night out for fear of rejection. So if you’re already in a room full of people that have specifically gathered together to do just that, then a huge amount of pressure has already been taken away.
Online dating for instance is an extremely successful and popular way to meet people nowadays, however the downside to online dating is that you’ve never actually met these people and you’re only going by their picture and profile (for more information on dating profiles, read this article).
When you finally meet up and go on a date, you could find that the conversation doesn’t go very well and you just don’t get along. However, with speed dating you don’t have that problem because you get to chat to each other for a few minutes and see if you instantly click and there’s some chemistry – or not. Also, you have the added advantage of getting to see someone in person rather than a picture, which can sometimes be misleading.
Overall, the two most important requirements a couple needs to have is physical attraction and chemistry, and speed dating allows you the opportunity to find this out without the added pressure and fear of rejection. Interaction is the only way you’ll truly find out if you like someone or not, and this is what makes speed dating so popular.
You’ll also find that with speed dating you are asked beforehand about the type of person you’re looking for, which allows the organisers to match you against similar individuals during the session. If hundreds of people all apply within a particular region, then there is a very good chance the organisers can put you within a group of people that you’re likely to get along with. This is of course one of the best parts of speed dating, and one of the most important for it to successfully match people.
Can you imagine getting to meet 10-15 guys or girls within a couple of hours? Just think about how many dates you’ve been on in the past and compare it to this – we bet it doesn’t even come close! So for that very reason alone, this is why speed dating is a fantastic way of meeting new people.
Speed dating tips
Although speed dating is an easier alternative to meeting new people, it’s important to remember that the hard work isn’t over just yet, and in order to get the most out of your session and to give yourself the best possible chance of finding a match, there are a few things to take into consideration.
Smile, though your heart is aching
First of all, make sure you smile! Although you’re all in the same room for the same reason, there is still bound to be some nerves which might make you forget to smile and be happy. Don’t forget that you only get a few minutes with each person, and if you’re staring across the table at the man or woman of your dreams, then don’t let nerves get the better of you. Give them your best smile and be positive if you want to be remembered!
You may find that your first speed dating session is obviously the hardest, and if you don’t find a match on the first attempt, or even if you do and things don’t work out, you should find that the next session is much easier and you’ll relax more. However, we usually find that the first few minutes can be the hardest, and most people shrug off those nerves and start to relax very quickly.
What’d I say
So now that you’re relaxed and feeling positive and you have your best smile to hand, what should you talk about and what questions should you ask? Well, although it would be great to assume that the conversation will flow easily the 
minute you sit down, unfortunately this doesn’t always happen and you don’t want to be left in an awkward situation.
It’s safe to say that there are bound to be some people you just don’t instantly get along with, and no matter what you say the conversation just doesn’t seem to flow. However, in order to avoid this situation it’s important to prepare a few questions before you start.
Some great questions to ask in order to break the ice are –
What is your greatest achievement in life?
What are your hobbies or interests?
What do you do for a living?
What do you look for in a partner?
Questions like these are a great way to get them talking, and what also usually happens is that they will then ask you the same question in return.
Body language
This is very important as you want to come across positive and open to conversation, otherwise you’ll may make it difficult for the other person to interact with you.
Try to sit up straight and don’t cross your arms. Crossing your arms is a very negative and closed position, and it may give off the impression that you don’t want to interact. You may want to keep your arms on your lap or even put them on the table. If the conversation is going really well and you like them, then consider putting your elbows or arms on the table which will naturally move you a little closer to them.
The conversation
It’s important to make sure you don’t dominate the conversation, and you must listen and pay attention when they’re speaking. Although it’s important to ask questions and interact, listening is a vital part of making a successful match during speed dating.
Sometimes you may have to ask questions and talk a little bit more than the other person if they are shy and nervous, but if the conversation is flowing easily then make sure you’re a good listener. Paying attention to someone’s every word is a very attractive trait and it shows you have patience and are interested in them.
Don’t worry, be happy
Overall you need to just have fun, relax and enjoy the evening. Try not to worry too much about meeting all these new people, and remember that everyone else is in the same boat as you and are just as nervous, if not more so!
You’re all there for the same reason, and that’s to have fun, meet new people and potentially find a partner. If you don’t have any success on your first attempt, then don’t panic. It doesn’t matter if you don’t match up with anyone the first time, as you’ve got plenty more opportunities to go again.
Try to think of speed dating as a social event and something to enjoy and take part in. Interacting with new people and making new friends is what speed dating is all about, and if you happen to find love at the end of it, then that’s just an added bonus!